JokeJam.com
7/9/2003
This is a humor and jokes list that brings you jokes daily - Generally Clean Jokes - but some might be a bit off color - no really dirty jokes
Help us Grow our Jokes List!
Tell others about
JokeJam.com
Feel Free to Forward this to your Friends and Family
They finally released the ingredients in
Viagra!!!
3% Vitamin E
2% Aspirin
2% Ibuprofen
1% Vitamin C
5% Spray Starch
87% Fix-A-Flat
Petmeds
Fixing a mistake ?
A minister and lawyer were chatting at a party.
"What do you do if you make a mistake on a case?" the minister asked.
"Try to fix it if it's big; ignore it if it's insignificant," replied the
lawyer. "What do you do?"
The minister replied "Oh, more or less the same. Let me give you an example. The
other day I meant to say 'the devil is the father of liars,' but instead I said
'the devil is the father of lawyers,' so I let it go."
Bonehead award
Award goes to a Colorado man, who, fleeing from police, decided to shoot back at
the officers pursuing him but who forget to get his head out of the way before
pulling the trigger.
He is now in critical condition with a gunshot wound to his face. No shots were
fired by the police
KUSA TV (Denver, Colorado) channel 9 7-Mar-02
eharmony.com Find the Perfect Match!
No Class in First Class
A businessman finds that his neighbor in the first class cabin of his flight is
a parrot.
They take off and the stewardess asks what they would like to drink.
"Glenlivet on the rocks with a twist," says the parrot.
The businessman orders a coke.
After waiting two or three minutes, the bird starts yelling, "Where's my drink?!
Stop fooling around and give me my drink!"
The stewardess runs to him with his glass, leaving the
businessman still thirsty.
Half an hour later the stewardess makes a second round.
The bird orders another Glenlivet and a Wall Street Journal.
The businessman asks for another coke.
Again, after a couple of minutes, the bird screams, squawking, "You lazy bitch!
Where is my drink!"
The poor woman nearly trips over herself getting the parrot his drink and the
newspaper.
The businessman still has nothing, and after ten more minutes decides to take
his cue from the bird. "Hey, bitch! Will you bring me my damn coke?"
Out of nowhere the purser, the captain and two passengers grab the businessman
and the bird, open the hatch and throw them out of the plane.
At 30,000 feet in the air the two fall side by side and the parrot says to the
terrified man, "Wow, that took a lot of guts for a guy with no wings."
10% Lower than Amazon.com on over 1 Million Books! Plus, Free Shipping!
Buy.com 10%
Lower Than Amazon.com On All Books - Over 1 Million Titles! Plus, Free Shipping!
(Expiration TBD)
Q: What's a Jewish '10'?
A: A girl with 4 limbs and 6 million dollars.
Clearance Items!
Viking Office Products Clearance Items
100 in school
Little Susie came running into the house after school one day, shouting,
"Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!"
"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy, "Come in to the living room and tell
me about it."
"Well," began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in maths and 20 in
science."
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
USEFUL
PHRASES FOR WESTERNERS
BACKPACKERS IN THE MIDDLE EAST
Kbar Khali-Kili Haftir Lotfan.
Thank you for showing me your marvelous gun.
Tikeh Nuneh Ba Ob Khrelleh Bezorg Va
Khube Boyast Ino Begeram
The water soaked breadcrumbs are delicious, thank you. I must have the recipe.
Ekr Gabul Cardan Davat Parh Gush Divar
I am delighted to accept your kind invitation to lie down on the floor with my
arms above my head with my legs apart.
Maternier Ghermez Ahlieh Ghorban
The red blindfold would be lovely.
Balli, Balli, Balli
Whatever you say.
Auto Arraregh Davateman Mano Sephaheh-
Hasti
It is exceptionally kind of you to allow me to travel in the trunk of your car.
Cashal-Eh Fashal-Eh Tupheman Na Degat
Man Goftam
Cheeshayeh Mohemarir Behmeshvarehma.
If you will do me the kindness of not harming my genital appendages, I will
gladly reciprocate by betraying my country in public.
The Vet's Mother
Every Sunday, a little old lady placed $1,000 in the collection plate.
This went on for weeks until the priest, overcome by curiosity, approached her.
"Madam, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection
plate," he stated.
"Why yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money, and what I don't need
I give to the church."
The priest replied... "That's wonderful, how much does he send you?"
The old lady said.... "Oh, $20,000 a week."
The Priest was amazed... "Your son is very successful, what does he do for a
living?"
"He is a veterinarian," she answered.
"That is a very honorable profession. The priest says. Where does he practice?"
The old lady says proudly...."Well, he has one cat house in Las Vegas and
another in Reno.
JokeJam Jokes Mailing List
Get Jokes in the mail 5 days a week
Click to subscribe to JokeJam
Tell others about
JokeJam.com
Great
Credit Card Site
Order
Viagra
On Line
Cheap Drugs
When You do
not have a Prescription
Dirt Cheap Drugs
When You do
have a Prescription
If you need to contact JokeJam.com - this is a
safe link - your email address will not be posted on the internet.
Search Buy.com
UNSUBSCRIBE
JokeJam Jokes List is an automatic list -to unsubscribe - send email or reply from this
email to
mailto:JokeJam-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
Be sure to use the same email address that you subscribed with
Then you will need to reply to the email yahoogroups sends you.
Copyright 2003
JokeJam.com. All Rights reserved. Permission is granted for noncommercial
distribution of JokeJam jokes list as long as
this full copyright notice is included, including subscription information.
JokeJam is not the author of the jokes, humor,
and other content
posted to this list, and does not claim to own any copyright privileges to
them except for those humor bits we write. We assume them to be in the public
domain.
googtoot
Everything below this line is put in by Yahoo and is NOT a sponsor of
JokeJam.com