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Proof that Bill Gates is the DevilThe real name of "the" Bill Gates is William Henry Gates III. Nowadays he is known as Bill Gates (III), where "III" means the order of third (3rd.) By converting the letters of his current name to the ASCII-values and adding his (III), you get the following: B 66 I 73 L 76 L 76 G 71 A 65 T 84 E 69 S 83 + 3 ----- 666!!
Some might ask, "How did Bill Gates get so powerful?" Coincidence? Or just the beginning of mankind's ultimate and total enslavement??? Before you decide, consider the following: M S - D O S 6 . 2 1 77+83+45+68+79+83+32+54+46+50+49 = 666 W I N D O W S 9 5 87+73+78+68+79+87+83+57+53+1 = 666 Coincidence? You decide... Computer VirusesOPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 1.3 GB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80mb and then slowly expands back to 1.3 GB. AT&T VIRUS: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting. MCI VIRUS: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus. ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back... DAN QUAYLE VIRUS: Prevents your system from spawning any child process without joining into a binary network. TERRY RANDLE VIRUS: Prints "oh no you don't" whenever you choose "Abort". CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously, but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything. EMELDA MARCOS VIRUS: Sings you a song (slightly off key) on boot up, then subtracts money from your Quicken account and spends it all on expensive shoes it purchases through Prodigy. GEORGE BUSH VIRUS: It starts by boldly stating "Read my docs...No new files!" on the screen. It proceeds to fill up all the free space on your hard drive with new files, and then blames it on the Congressional virus. DENVER BRONCOS VIRUS: Makes your P133 machine perform like a 286/AT L.A.P.D. VIRUS: It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases them in "self-defense". Top Ten Ways Michael Jackson Would Be Cooler if He Lived in the Star Wars Universe1. Due to high loss-of-hand rate, wearing one glove is fashionably acceptable 2. Would not have needed huge effects budget for 'Captain EO' 3. In shocking revelation, he might have really been the father of Billie Jean's son 4. Could really walk on moons 5. After skin-altering disease, could become Light Lord of the Sith 6. Could ease tensions between Empire and Alliance with anti-violence message of 'Beat It' 7. Imperial breath mask could give him the deep voice he never had 8. Improved medical technology could make new nose and chin more realistic 9. Would have sure-fire hit with Sy Snootles duet 10. Would strengthen characterization of movies by making Luke look manly Bill Gates Meets His MatchThe following is a conversation overheard as Bill Gates was moving into his new house... Bill: "There are a few issues we need to discuss." Contractor: "Ah, you have our basic support option. Calls are free for the first 90 days and $75 a call thereafter. Okay?" Bill: "Uh, yeah... the first issue is the living room. We think it’s a little smaller than we anticipated." Contractor: "Yeah. Some compromises were made to have it out by the release date." Bill: "We won't be able to fit all our furniture in there." Contractor: "Well, you have two options. You can purchase a new, larger living room; or you can use a Stacker." Bill: "Stacker?" Contractor: "Yeah, it allows you to fit twice as much furniture into the room. By stacking it, of course, you put the entertainment center on the couch... the chairs on the table... etc. You leave an empty spot, so when you want to use some furniture you can unstack what you need and then put it back when you're done." Bill: "Uh... I dunno... issue two. The second issue is the light fixtures. The bulbs we brought with us from our old home won't fit. The threads run the wrong way." Contractor: "Oh! That's easy. Those bulbs aren't plug and play. You'll have to upgrade to the new bulbs." Bill: "And the electrical outlets? The holes are round, not rectangular. How do I fix that?" Contractor: "Just uninstall and reinstall the electrical system." Bill: "You're kidding!?" Contractor: "Nope. It’s the only way." Bill: “Well... I have one last problem. Sometimes, when I have guests over, someone will flush the toilet and it won't stop. The water pressure drops so low that the showers don't work." Contractor: "That's a resource leakage problem. One fixture is failing to terminate and is hogging the resources preventing access from other fixtures." Bill: "And how do I fix that?" Contractor: "Well, after each flush, you all need to exit the house, turn off the water at the street, turn it back on, reenter the house and then you can get back to work." Bill: "That's the last straw. What kind of product are you selling me?" Contractor: "Hey, if you don't like it nobody made you buy it." Bill: "And when will this be fixed?" Contractor: "Oh, in your next house -- which will be ready to release sometime near the end of next year. Actually it was due out this year, but we've had some delays..." Michael JacksonWhat's the difference between Michael Jackson and a carrier bag? One is made of plastic and is a potential risk to children. The other carries groceries. Computer VirusesEllen Degeneres virus.....Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC Monica Lewinsky virus.....Sucks all the memory out of your computer Titanic virus.....Makes your whole computer go down Disney virus.....Everything in the computer goes Goofy Mike Tyson virus.....Quits after one byte Lorena Bobbit virus.....Turns your hard disk into a 3.5-inch floppy Tim Allen virus.....Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive Woody Allen virus.....Bypasses the motherboard and turns on daughter card Saddam Hussein virus.....Won't let you into any of your programs Tonya Harding virus.....Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons Joey Buttafuoco virus.....Only attacks minor files X-files virus.....All your Icons start shape-shifting Ronald Reagan virus.....Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus.....Deletes your old files |
Fun for Cat Owners Cheap Pharmacy No Prescription Needed
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Cheap Pharmacy if you have Prescription
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