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Things to Ponder
Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?"
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I Do," is the longest sentence?
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
Things Luke Did Between ESB and ROTJ
1. Spent a lot of time in the gymnastics facilities working on those AMAZING back flips, etc...
2. Played "Itsy Bitsy Spider" trying to get his fingers to work again
3. One word: Whined
4. Spent days, and days, and days trying to figure out why his mom married a walking toaster.
5. Played "Ding, Dong, Ditch" with doorways on board the Medical Frigate to practice his Force skills until they kicked him out.
6. Learned to shoot baskets again.
Newspaper Headlines with Double Meanings
March Planned For Next August
L.A. Voters Approve Urban Renewal by Landslide
Patient at Death's Door - Doctors Pull Him Through
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Things to Do When Your ISP Is Down
1. Dial 911 immediately.
2. Open the curtains to see if anything has changed over the past 2 years.
3. You mean there's something else to do?
4. Threaten your ISP with an impeachment vote.
5. Work.
6. Re-introduce yourself to your immediate family.
7. Get that kidney transplant you've been putting off.
Ass "Emoticons"
(_E=3Dmc2_) A smart ass
(_13_) An unlucky ass
(_$_) Money coming out of his ass
(_!_) A regular "nice" ass
(__!__) A large ass
(!) A tight ass
(_._) A flat ass
(_^_) A bubbly ass
(_*_) A sore ass
(_!__) A lop-sided ass
{_!_} A squishy ass
(_o_) An ass that's been around
(_O_) And more....
(_x_) Kiss my ass
(_X_) "Get off my ass"
(_zzz_) A tired ass
(_o^o_) A wise ass
(_13_) An unlucky ass
(_?_) Dumb ass
T-Shirts in the Star Wars Universe
"My Mom (and/or Dad) fought at the Battle of (Yavin/Hoth/Endor) and all I got was this lousy t-shirt"
"Have you hugged a wookie today?"
"I'm with stupid" (With arrow pointing to Jabba)
"My astromech went to the Death Star and all I got were the lousy Technical Schematics"
"Emperor's slugs need love too" |