|
Get Jokes in the mail 5 days a week
Click to subscribe to JokeJam
|
|
|
Rabbit Test
The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI,
and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending
criminals.
The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a
forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They
question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive
investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing
everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The
rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear.
The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
Anything You Say
When Johnny got arrested, they told him, "Anything
you say will be held against you."
Johnny said, "Claudia Schiffer's breasts."
Getting Out of a Ticket
A man in his 40's bought a new BMW and was out on
the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was
blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up.
As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue
lights behind him.
"There's no way they can catch a BMW," he thought to himself and opened her
up further. The needle hit 90, 100.... Then the reality of the situation hit
him. "What the hell am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.
The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and
the car.
"It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th.
I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your
driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."
The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop.
I was afraid you were trying to give her back."
"Have a nice weekend," said the officer.
Cop Stories
Good: A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for
speeders, but wasn't getting many.
Then he discovered the problem-a 10-year old boy was standing up the road
with a hand painted sign which read "RADAR TRAP AHEAD." The officer then
found a young accomplice down the road with a sign reading "TIPS" and a
bucket full of change.
Better: A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through
automated radar. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the
police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed
photo of handcuffs.
Best: A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As the motorcycle officer
walked to her car window and flipped opens his ticket book, she said, "I bet
you are going to sell me a ticket to the Highway Patrolmen's Ball." He
replied, "Highway patrolmen don't have balls." There was a moment of silence
while she smiled, and he realized what he'd just said. He then closed his
book, got back on his motorcycle and left. She was laughing too hard to
start her car for several minutes.
Dressing Up to Go Out
A police officer, though scheduled for all-night
duty at the station, was relieved of duty early and arrived home four hours
ahead of schedule, at 2 in the morning. Not wanting to wake his wife, he
undressed in the dark, crept into the bedroom and started to climb into bed.
Just then, his wife sleepily sat up and said, "Mike, dearest, would you go
down to the all-night drug store on the next block and get me some aspirin?
I've got a splitting headache."
"Certainly, honey," he said, and feeling his way across the dark room, he
got dressed and walked over to the drug store.
As he arrived, the pharmacist looked up in surprise, "Say," said the
druggist, "I know you - aren't you a policeman? Officer Fenwick, right?"
"Yeah, so?" said the officer.
"Well what the heck are you doing all dressed like the Fire Chief?"
|
|
|
Fun for Cat Owners
CatCar.com
Best Source for
Viagra
Cheap Pharmacy No
Prescription Needed
 |
|
