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Lines from Star Wars that can be improved
if you substitute the word "Pants" for key words
We've got to be able to get some reading on those
pants, up or down.
The pants may not look like much, kid, but they've got it where it counts.
I find your lack of pants disturbing.
These pants contain the ultimate power in the Universe. I suggest we use it.
Han will have those pants down. We've got to give him more time!
General Veers, prepare your pants for a ground assault.
I used to bulls-eye womp-rats in my pants back home.
TK-421... Why aren't you in your pants?
Lock the door. And hope they don't have pants.
You are unwise to lower your pants.
She must have hidden the plans in her pants. Send a detachment down to
retrieve them. See to it personally Commander.
Governor Tarkin. I recognized your foul pants when I was brought on board.
You look strong enough to pull the pants of a Gundark.
Luke... Help me remove these pants.
Great, Chewie, great. Always thinking with your pants.
That blast came from those pants. That thing's operational!
A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt this was in the presence of my
old master.
Don't worry. Chewie and I have gotten into a lot of pants more heavily
guarded than this.
Maybe you'd like it back in your pants, your highness.
Your pants betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially one...
Your sister!
Jabba doesn't have time for smugglers who drop their pants at the first sign
of an Imperial Cruiser.
Short pants are better than no pants at all.
Top Twenty Star Wars Related Famous Last
Words
1. "Aw, look captain! A cute furry animal!"
2. "I am fluent in over six mil..."
3. "No, sorry. You JUST missed the last Kenner figure."
4. "You seen that Vader guy's liver spots? Eeew!"
5. To Lando: "Hiya master!"
6. "There's a nice, big open cave in that asteroid right over there..."
7. "Emperor my butt!"
8. "Boba Fett? What a wuss!"
9. "Sorry, Kabe. All out of Juri Juice."
10. "Look mommy! Another moon just appeared out of nowhere! only isn’t it
kinda small?"
11. "Whip, stir, whip, stir, whip, whip, stir!" (Holiday special joke)
12. "Hey look! A vornskr! Here kitty, kitty, kitty!"
13. "Here's a good idea! Let's come into the Hoth system real close!"
14. "TIE Advanced? Never heard of it, but I'm sure I take it in my Y-Wing."
15.:: In front of Qwi Xux: "Bawk! Bawk, bawk, bawk!" while flapping arms
16. "Don't worry, this blaster has PLENTY of power left!"
17. "Finally! I've always wanted my own X-TIE!"
18. "Wuher! Check out this new droid I got!"
19. "Look at that ceeeeute little thing! What's his name again? Rukh?"
20. "And now back to the Star Wars Holiday Special!"
Top Ten Signs You're a True Star Wars Fan
10. When arguing Star Wars against Star Trek, you
use the words 'Star Trek Sissy Boys' at least 15 times.
9. You believe President Clinton should increase its budget. (I'm sorry,
wrong Star Wars!)
8. At a Star Wars collectibles convention, you purchase Gammorean Guard
saliva.
7. You waste your time writing Star Wars Top Ten lists. (No comment)
6. You foolishly believe that Lucas will ACTUALLY make more Star Wars
movies, when you know he's just saying that so people will buy the new Star
Wars merchandise and books, then in a year he'll give his famous 'I don't
feel like it' speech.
5. You would feed yourself to the rancor if it meant finding out the name of
Anakin's wife.
4. You'd actually want a copy of that lousy Star Wars holiday special.
3. You stick up for Mark Hamill even when you know he's a bad actor.
2. You shell out 10 bucks for a magazine that describes the planet Tatooine.
1. You have recurring nightmares about Episodes 1-3 being about a
dysfunctional family of Ewoks.
Top Ten Reasons to Like Wedge Antilles
10. He saved Luke's life about a bizillion times
9. He's cool
8. He helped destroy 3, count em', 3 Death Stars (Read the books!)
7. He eats TIE fighters for breakfast
6. He's cool
5. He has that stylish orange flight jump suit
4. "Look at the size of that thing!"
3. He's cool
2. He can topple an AT-AT in his sleep
1. Yes you guessed it, HE'S COOL!
T-Shirts in the Star Wars Universe
"My Mom (and/or Dad) fought at the Battle of (Yavin/Hoth/Endor)
and all I got was this lousy t-shirt"
"Have you hugged a wookie today?"
"I'm with stupid" (With arrow pointing to Jabba)
"My astromech went to the Death Star and all I got were the lousy Technical
Schematics"
"Emperor's slugs need love too"
Top 10 Reasons Why Bossk Is the Coolest
Bounty Hunter
10. His action figure kicks butt.
9. Two words: live lunch.
8. His ship, "The Hound's Tooth," has bitchin' flame decals and fuzzy dice.
7. it’s easier to give someone the middle finger since he's only got three
fingers.
6. He's the only bounty hunter with built-in snakeskin.
5. His bloodshot eyes are from constant partying.
4. He's nice to his mother.
3. He had the nerve to threaten an Imperial admiral on the Empire's
flagship.
2. He skins Wookiees. 'Nuff said.
1. Can eat his own weight in Ewoks.
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